Landing safely on the other side of Mercury Retrograde is always a bonus for me; although I have arrived minus my truck, my hot tub, and my washing machine … so there’s that.
Mercury Retrograde for those who aren’t aware, is a planetary phenomenon that is synonymous with technical trouble and things breaking down, or messing up … and then there’s the whole; these things happen in three’s aspect … trifecta here At Home!
The other side of that is that my truck, hot tub and washing machine were all in excess of 13 years old … so there’s that. The good news is everything has been repaired or replaced and life goes on.
So why, as things were going wrong was my first lean into astrology? Checking for Mercury Retrograde? Because that’s where my ‘beliefs’ took me, as humans we want answers … good, bad or ugly, we have questions and we need to make sense of situations.
First thing most of us do is attempt to assess blame … whose fault was it?
In this case I jumped immediately to Mercury Retrograde, a week ago I may have called out the Full Moon; what I know for sure is we each have our own process as life unfolds and often without any conscious thought; we form opinions, draw conclusions, and yes, cast blame; all based on the beliefs behind that process.
The work for me over the last two years has been digging into my ‘beliefs’ and what I have found difficult; was determining which were actually mine and which were taught, engrained, or the accepted beliefs of others in my life.
A few years ago I may have blamed all the goings wrong on the fact that I was a bad person and didn’t deserve to have these things; that nothing every worked out for me and that I was destined to just always be falling apart … you can see where limiting beliefs can keep you in a pretty low vibration!
We are all influenced along our path, our parents, friends, teachers; everyone brings their own beliefs to the table and we are exposed, often absorbing those beliefs over time, as if they were our own … but do we truly believe them?
As I have dove into my mindfulness and reiki practices I found myself challenging so many beliefs that I was carrying, some were actually holding me back from life, some from being my Self … over and over I was told ‘Just be yourself’; but I really didn’t know who my Self was? Or what ‘being myself’ actually looked like? Or felt like?
Like a tangled ball of yarn I have been picking away at my beliefs, ways of thinking, freeing myself of beliefs that were never really mine … things that may have served me at one point in my life, but today have no relevance; things that I was carrying for fear of no longer being accepted or fitting in; things that held me back from sharing my true beliefs because they were weird, half a bubble off plumb, or just plain different!
This new acceptance I am living; of being present, on purpose in my life, without judgement; trusting a divine universal energy; simply couldn’t flourish under those beliefs!
If these new beliefs were to be a part of my Self, so many old beliefs had to go … this process of awareness is incredibly liberating, highly motivating and down right terrifying! Getting to know my Self has been an epic journey, and one that is continually evolving … the more I know, the more I want to know!
When I started letting go of all the ‘should be’s’; and openly embracing all the ‘could be’s’, life got infinitely easier and way more interesting!
Of course there have been raised eyebrows, more than a few rolled eyes; not everyone celebrates woo the way I do … what I have found is my comfort zone is a whole lot bigger than I was told it should be, my creativity and eccentric views offer me a full spectrum of perspectives, that weren’t available through those traditional rose coloured glasses!
The process begins with being curious about your emotions, why are you feeling the way you feel, why did you automatically assume this instead of that, the more questions you can answer the closer you get to that underlying belief!
Once you’re there, start the process again with ‘where did I pick that up?’ Was it something your parents taught, was it a coping mechanism from a difficult time, something someone you once spent a lot of time with believed?
Getting to the root is important and often will open up several other beliefs from that person or event; once you’re there you can decide if you still believe that … perhaps you never did, maybe it was preserved as a means of fitting in.
My therapy is in writing, I will write down the old belief and anything I can attach to it; then I will write my updated version of this belief and how I will default to my new belief moving forward.
It is actually a very simple process of self discovery … but it is not easy!
Reprogramming limiting beliefs is no different than any other habit we want to break; it is only through patience and consistency that we make any progress! Sometimes beliefs are attached to painful or traumatic life events, and the reprogramming has to wait on the healing!
One of the first changes is set about implementing was the speed with which I was traveling through my life; I was high voltage, places to go and things to do! From early in my childhood there was an echo in the back of my mind, my mom flipping my light switch on every morning and saying ‘rise and shine, you’re burning daylight’!
Burning Daylight was processed in my young mind as the equivalent of wasting time, and that was unacceptable; productivity was the measure of a person’s value. I have always been a ‘producer’ and often to the point of stressing myself out when days of work had little or nothing to outwardly show for it!
Ironically, it was never my mom’s intention to push me to do anything, but through her words and the pressure she put on her self to accomplish and produce results everyday, I believed that was how to be successful! It is extremely tough to be enough, when there is the expectation of production attached to it every day!
I wasn’t producing for myself; I was looking for outward acceptance and approval which made it even less fulfilling when it went unnoticed. The truly funny part of this belief is that through my astrology studies I have learned that my purpose is to relax, to learn to enjoy life, no stress, no worries … no wonder I was miserable as a producer at this level! I am still very much a producer, but it happens at a different pace with different expectations!
What I have learned is that most of my decision making doesn’t require a rush, hurry, accomplish approach; I can breathe and consider things, I can think about what I want versus what I think is expected of me, and I can totally choose me … every single time I can choose ME! I can choose me over a perceived ‘production’ quota.
Mindfulness has taught me the value of reduced speed, of savouring moments – both good and bad, hanging out to catch all that is being offered in them can be far greater than having anything to show for your time!
So much is missed when our focus is on the past, or rushing ahead to see what’s next … just be, right here, feel it, experience it, learn from it and let it align within you, or pass you by … the choice is always yours.
From this place I have developed a much greater understanding of how to be my Self; but this place is also the home of so many of my wellness transformations. My greatest results in the wellness arena have come from being aware of the little things I do everyday!
That awareness has helped me break some really bad habits; it has helped me to forge better relationships with food and it also keeps me moving forward on a path I believe in!
Of course I get flack from doubters about how you can be ‘in the moment’ and have plans or goals that you are working towards; the short answer is this … when you know what you want to accomplish, who you want to be, you know in every moment that you are experiencing whether you are moving towards that, or away from it … mostly you can feel the alignment and that is when you know your Self best, and have the greatest opportunity to be your best Self!
Tune in to your Self; make the shift from mind full, to mindful!