Social Media is filled with the soundtracks and photo reels of shiny happy people celebrating 2022 and all the joy it brought them … while my heart is shattered and my whole-body aches with the loss and tragedy we experienced here At hOMe this year, but there is still this light of gratitude that flickers in my heart and hope that fans that wee flicker that 2023 will bring brighter days!
No matter what – there is always, always, always something to be grateful for!
This in between space; between the festivities of Christmas and the deep introspection of New Years has always been tricky to navigate … the ‘finishing up of all the yummy holiday foods while planning the diet that will fix it all starting January 1st’; the looking back over the year that has passed, checking in with intentions that were set a year ago today and realizing just how much life has changed you!
Not better or worse per se; just different, wiser and perhaps a little more compassionate?
A little more humble?
Vulnerable?
Authentic?
A little more.
I feel all of these things to my core … my true Self; like a rough edge that has been hammered by the ocean of life for the passed year, worn down, smoothed out … looking a little worse for wear but a truer version of that Self … stripped down of ego trappings and expectations!
This time last year I chose my word for 2022 … HOME … I wanted to feel at home in my life, comfortable, safe, content … I wanted to know my Self as Home, not a place I go to but rather a place I am … I chuckled when I revisited my intentions and could hear Derek whisper ‘Careful what you wish for’ – a phrase I often used with him!
It may have been a transformation by fire; but I am truly home as I sit to set the intentions that will guide me into and through 2023… more at ease and safe with my Self than I have ever been! The events (traumas) of 2022 have forced me to places within myself that I never dared to venture … tackling my limiting beliefs and being brought face to face with just how much time I have wasted being ‘afraid’, worrying, and allowing all of it to not only ride shot gun; but set the sails for the course of my life!
If you would ask me a year ago what my WORST fear was, I would have told you without hesitation it would be losing one of my children!
The moment their tiny lives began growing in my body, I began the journey of worrying for their wellbeing!
My fear did nothing to protect them, did nothing to encourage or empower them … or me for that matter. My fear was just a large dark cloud that I carried with me every step of every journey every day… added weight for me and looming darkness for all of us!
FEAR is a liar – I remember using that line in a boot camp I ran years ago; helping clients push through their limiting beliefs that they could take control of their lives and their wellness, that they could reach their goals and not just lose weight but to find their own wellness, to find a way to truly LIVE in their bodies!
Fear is a liar.
2023 is inviting me to be Brave, to embrace my Truth and to live as my Whole self … Fear is relegated to the back seat with no voice. My inner work over 2023 is to really get to know this fear, to understand it in a way that allows me to keep it in the backseat! I’m a little late to the ‘letting go’ party but I’m here and I’m ready to come back to my Self!
Grief is riding shot gun this year; and I am honouring her … we will be brave, and honest and show up as our whole self; but we will do it on our own terms, in our own time… because that’s how we roll! Grief, I have learned is not my enemy, but rather a soft landing for all this love I am still trying to process!
Looking back over this year I know that surrendering to grief, allowing myself to feel and heal and breakdown and start over again in the moments as they happen; has been my salvation … the unsolicited advice, the you should’s and the you need to’s; because that’s what I did’s and all the judgements I have spent a lifetime fearing … have no place in my journey; other than a good reminder for myself of how NOT to show up for others!
2023 awaits … may you find peace in the events of 2022 to set your foundation on for 2023!
Every year we make resolutions to change ourselves … this year can we resolved to be ourselves?
Preferably the messy and wild authentic versions of our true self … no fear, no apologies … just BE!
Xox love jo & the herd